Writing is inherently a kind of masturbatory act, one that far more people than you would ever guess engage in, and one that you never want anyone to catch you doing. I think that's why it's so hard for fledgling writers to share their stuff, gather feedback, or even just get used to putting themselves out there, consequences be damned. I'm still working through that part. It's one I'm not sure I'll ever get past. So it goes.
Since January 1st, I've been engaged in a kind of self-challenge involving writing every single day for a year. I know that I want to write for a living some day, but I've felt that for a long time and it's only in 2014 that I've started taking an honest stab at it. There's no one in the world who claims to be a plumber despite not plying their trade on a daily basis, or who insists that they're a doctor despite never having practiced medicine. So why do so many people claim to be writers who've never actually put a word on the page? I was like that for a long, long time--full of ideas, of beautiful words and phrases, and too damn scared to put any of them down on paper to see if they stood up to the light. This year has (somewhat) changed that.
To date, I have missed 5 days of this year, not a word produced or thought jotted down. 4 of those came on my first return visit to Columbus since graduation; the 5th was the day I officially moved across Seattle--you try writing anything worthwhile behind the wheel of a '99 Civic, ferrying all your worldly possessions back and forth in a city where people can't drive worth a damn.
The point of all this rambling is to put my money where my mouth is. To put my work out there, to be read and seen and judged and ignored. That last one is the hardest to stomach, I've found (to paraphrase Kubrick, the most frightening prospect about the universe is not that it's malicious, but that it's indifferent), but all the same, I'm pretty proud of staying on track this long if nothing else. I've posted a chapter or two here and there in the last few months, but I've been avoiding doing that for awhile now thanks to that spiral of self-doubt I mentioned above. I want to change that.
So here it is, the 1st 12 chapters of a fantasy/adventure novel I've been working at off and on since August of 2013. I've worked on a number of other things in that span, but this is where I've chosen to stick my focus for the last 4 months or so, ever since I joined WattPad (where the novel is hosted). It's really, really hard not to hedge all of this with the usual protestations--"It's a first draft!" or "This is just some dumb thing I've worked at, not very hard, mind you"--neither of those things would be entirely true, and they're pointless cries for attention and reassurance. Fuck that noise, though, as the kids say. I hope you read it, and enjoy it, but my life will not be materially different if you don't.
If you are interested in giving feedback, I'd be thrilled to hear it, even if it's along the lines of this being super boring, needing more action and less description, or what have you. You're already my favorite if you've read down this far in the blog post, and any feedback is just icing on that delicious cake. WattPad also has an app, if you're really a lunatic and want a way to take my words on the go. The link is to the main story page, but you can toggle through chapters with the drop-down menu.
http://www.wattpad.com/story/20431231-the-blankmap-chronicles-book-i
Happy reading, all.
