Rather than write another long-winded anecdote about my time in the Marshall Islands, I've decided to wrap things up with a comprehensive and long-winded list of things I've learned this year. These cover a range of topics, from the personal to the cultural to the philosophical. So, without further ado: This year, I have learned...
-That it is possible to be soul-crushingly lonely in a room full of people singing to and celebrating you
-That sarcasm doesn't translate well into other languages
-That the only acceptable reaction to waking up in the night with a cockroach on your face is to
scream "motherFUCKER!!" and spike that cockroach off the wall
-That complete strangers can treat you like royalty while treating their own children terribly, and find no contradiction inherent in that
-That having a say in what you eat on a day-to-day basis is a majorly underrated component of happiness, one I will never again take for granted
-That nothing switches on a primal brain-freeze quite like the torpedo silhouette of a shark cutting through the water under the moon
-That children, especially in groups, are just as capable of being shitty to each other as adults are
-That I'm terrified to try teaching in the U.S., where there are real expectations for teachers and helicopter parents earn their title
-That it is very possible to get sick of eating pancakes
-That a select few Marshallese people are more generous, decent human beings than 97% of the Americans I know
-That you can win over a room full of sixth-graders for a whole year by meeting a daily quota of one masturbation joke in their native tongue
-That anyone who voluntarily goes celibate and sober for extended periods of time is probably a lunatic
-That our feelings, personalities, and identities are inextricably linked to our native culture, which only really becomes apparent when you experiment with "breaking free" of that culture
-That every single one of us is going to die someday, and consequently it is foolish to wish for a single second to pass more quickly than is already does
-That the previous statement is pretty much the epitome of "easier said than done"
-That writing and receiving real letters is about 1000% more enjoyable than e-mail
-That your sense of time completely goes out the window when you live in a world of perpetual summer
-That being a local celebrity is a pretty exhausting responsibility
-That it is possible to be nostalgic about Syracuse winters
-That unshakable moral principles can turn into loose guidelines pretty quickly when you have to adapt to a new life and a new culture
-That "this too shall pass". despite being one of the most worn-out clichés ever, has real teeth when you have to actually live in a situation that calls for thinking that way
-That it is possible to buy Ramen noodles for an entire bar and have no recollection of it
-That one of the greatest atrocities ever committed by the American government happened in these little islands, and hasn't ever really been atoned for (Google- "Bravo test")
-That SpongeBob SquarePants is set in one of the lagoons of Bikini atoll, and the fact that all the characters are able to talk and interact is allegedly a result of the aforementioned Bravo test
-That things that build character in the long term are never fun in the short term
-That it is in fact a small world, and it is impossible for me to go anywhere-even 9,000 miles from home- without meeting a half-dozen people who know my friends or acquaintances or old classmates
-That it doesn't feel like a small world at all when you fly across the entire Pacific Ocean
-That commonplace words-like "for", "at", and "have"- can have about a million different permutations and situational meanings, which makes teaching ESL a dicey proposition to say the least
-That living in your head because you don't have many people to talk to can be a useful exercise but gets either boring or terrifying after awhile
-That there are lots of different flavors of coconut
-That there are some kinds of fish I really enjoy
-That Americans are probably in the minority when it comes to getting riled up about public breastfeeding
-That if you stop drinking for five months, twice, you'll rediscover the jawline you forgot about in college
-That if anyone is still reading, I probably owe them big time
-That doing something worldly for a year doesn't entitle you to give advice, and you should probably stop now.
